Lone

I stand in waning light

Knowing soon will come night.

For so long I thought that's where I belonged

Hidden away in the shadows

Now I know where I belong

Or am fighting to get there

Not in total light to need shades

Nor in blackness that never ends

Balance the extremes

Never total consuming happiness

Nor complete miserable sadness

But bits of both make the pieces

Like a jigsaw one matches with the other.

If I have one wish

It's to pray to remember this

It's not the road

Or the trials

But the end, looking at all who survived

And we share a grin

Feeling the same thanksgiving.

Already Gone

Trying to see me here?
I'm moving on,
I'm already gone.

All the sorrows,
The dark clouds,
And shame,
Left behind safely tucked away.

The place I called Home,
Is now just a visit,
And the pain while not gone,
Has numbed.

Still struggling,
Always changing,
The point is I'm already gone.

So don't cry,
Laugh with me and hold my hand,
This new adventure, new life,
Everything carved out,
It has a Liz sized hole.

Everything I once was,
Comes off with soap and water,
Starting anew I tell you once more,
I'm already gone.

Gossip

It's viscus, choking fog,

permeating everything.

Old bonds formed through

comradre years

shrivel and burn,

covered by acidic sweat.

The faster you try to run,

the more it cirles,

closing in until,

you jerk, stop,

there's nowhere to go.

The leftovers,

picked apart,

bodies left as carrion,

lives that ran as chains through time,

broken link by link.

Nightmare

She wakes,
surfaces,
breathes,

Air rushes in,
hold.
Air rushes out,
hold.
Air rushes in,
hold.
Air rushes out,
hold.

She felt it,
heard it,
saw it,
thought it.

Stomach tensed,
taut like a bubble's surface.

Breathing in a rhythm,
slowing, slowing.

Pain and Addiction

The pain is static and constant,
The need to quench all consuming,
Focused on the kill,
Other considerations secondary,
There is no digging yourself,
Out of a gently sloping divide.

The slowly rolling actions,
The pinch that turned into a punch,
The punch that made you curious,
How much pain will disappear,
With a red line in lieu of purple.

 Striking metal rods,
Vibrations cleansing as rain,
Traveling through my muscles and tendons.
Pain caused by yourself,
Heads off the confusion of mind,
And ripping of heart muscle.

After, the numb, the peace,
How do people live without this peace?
There is nothing comparable to floating,
Better than a hot tub full of relaxing oils,
More so than any meditation,
A high like no other.

Waking up from pain,
Love the high,
The high will fade,
More pain required,
An ever changing target,
The drug that bleeds life out of you,
And you still can't get enough.

Embarrassment during daylight hours,
The sun shines on cloth covered sins,
The proof hidden under a single layer,
But happy now,
Smiling face and careless laughter,
Affect gives no suspicion,
Along you go until the next full brim.

Fears

I’m picked apart by my fears, Carrion lying out in the unforgiving sun. I’m abnormal, Doubted and marked with suspicion. Reactions, The effect doesn’t match the cause. At once heat flashes through my body, Followed by ice. I stay frozen, Lights in my brain stuck.

So... November's almost here which means... NaNoWriMo! Sorry I haven't posted. Been having a rough time recently. This poetry blog will temporarily become an outlet for my frustrations during NaNo. Starting with the fact that I have eight days left, and four chapters (mostly) outlined. Why is outlining so hard? I've got this story all in my head, and trying to pin down specifics is like pulling teeth! I'll try and start poetry blogging again, but it probably wont be daily till December.